To find it:
1. Locate the underhood fuse block: Open the hood and look for a large plastic box with numerous fuses and relays.
2. Consult your owner's manual: The owner's manual will have a diagram of the fuse block showing the location of all the fuses and relays, including the starter relay. This is the best way to be certain.
3. Look for a relay that's likely the starter relay: If you don't have the manual, look for a relay that's relatively large compared to the others. You might even find a diagram on the fuse block's cover. Sometimes the label is very small and hard to read.
4. If you still can't find it: A qualified mechanic or auto parts store employee could help you identify it.
It's important to always disconnect the negative battery terminal before working with electrical components like relays to prevent accidental shorts or shocks.